I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Rumble strips road head = magical
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
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