Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
