Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
