community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
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