yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize