i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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