we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
