New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
