doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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