32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Randomize
