if i died would you start the facebook group?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
