if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
