It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
