I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
false alarm. still invincible.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
