A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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