doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
