My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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