I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize