If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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