...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Shame is for Republicans.
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