But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
