Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
