well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
