But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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