Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
