Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
