loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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