Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
