Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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