please come you make the beer taste better
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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