There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
