She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize