Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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