the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
