don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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