do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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