Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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