So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
