Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
