ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
