I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
