Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize