I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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