There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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