Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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