these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
