Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
