She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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