States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize