you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
