So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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