it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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