How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
