i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
