Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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