I'm laying in your front yard are you home
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
