i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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