Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
My penis needs a shock collar
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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