Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
