just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize