So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
