literally had 100 drinks last night.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
