It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
