Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
