there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
